Uninteresting Garbage: Just yolo it and publish these

dear blog

I work in a warehouse
for the last few days I have been boss of this gym
supervisor has been sick
I always supervise when he is away
I have 6 people under me
I have to talk to so many strangers
and also work with everyone on our property
so many people

i am autistic and shy
i have a hard time talking to most people
i often dont know what to say in conversation
i try to fill in gaps with stock phrases from other people
hoping no one notices i have autismos
they probably notice
i used to be too afraid to even go outside
still afraid to go outside but it is manageable
now i mostly just hate going outside

people tell me i am doing a good job
a better job
a great job!
i "should be promoted"
"i'll vote for you"
i never asked for this
"are you in charge today?
~~"Do you feel I'm in charge?"~~
"I hope not"
they dont let me say no

they tell me I have a good attitude, am helpful, consistent, hard working, and all that stuff
I don't know if they are serious

sometimes I do weird things
I give back massages to some co-workers
I don't say anything
I just start doing it
they're afraid of being gay
but they say back rubs feels pretty good
"I guess I'm gay for the day"

boss treats me with way more respect than he used to
and likewise
i had a hard time talking to him
but he's a person
he has his own thoughts and feelings
just like me
if he gets stress i try to make him feel at ease
convince him im on his side
if i have problems or insecurities I am open with him
he is very nice and helps me
feels good

I usually feel good at work
I get along with everyone i work with
even difficult people
just be nice and helpful and polite
and if that doesnt work
tell them to fuck off in the nicest way possible
ezpz
I have learned a lot about "business"
supervisor has his own company and a degree in business managment
teaches me a lot
good experience

today our warehouse missed an order that was supposed to go out
i took responsibility for it
"it's not your fault"
I felt like it was
so I drove out to the customer after my shift
I haven't had to drive in a very long time
co-worker said "I owe you one"
he never says that
I don't feel like I did him a favor
he doesn't owe me anything

co-workers feel like family
everyone i work with is just a big kid
mostly pretending not to be
we flip each other off
even when customers are around if we think they wont notice
and also lots and lots of gay jokes
at least i think they're jokes
"what's the weirdest thing you've ever had up your bum?"
"You. Don't you remember?"

life is just like my japanese eroge
earn points with people
and then h scenes happen
maybe
and i skip the entire scene